YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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