After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
