hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
