I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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