Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
