If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
