Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm having to shit out rocks
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
