don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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