...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
