saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
