OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
