is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
