I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found the puke drawer
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
