ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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