you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I love you. Go after that dick
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
