Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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