I will die if light touches me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
