In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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