Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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