i already hear my dad disowning me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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