True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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