I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
