Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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