I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
