I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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