If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize