She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
