I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize