So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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