It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
