You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
