i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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