Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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