his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
