I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
