He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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