Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
