This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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