well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
