Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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