3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
