I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
