Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
