don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
