Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
