a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
