bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Pooping to opera.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
