dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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