i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
