Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
