He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
