At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
