Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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