if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
