the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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