yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
