no you cant smoke seaweed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
