I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
