if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
