I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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