You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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