So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
