They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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